Could it get any more bizarre? President Kanye?... Just supposin’…
DONALD: OK, guys, it’s pretty obvious now for re-election, black votes matter. I am the strongest handling protests. Some bad people, bad dudes out there. We can’t let Biden get these votes. Give me ideas.
CHIEF SUCK-UP ADVISOR: Uh, Kanye West? Tell him to run for President too. He’s a rap hero – he’ll take the black votes instead of Biden.
DONALD: Genius!... Glad I thought of Kanye… his wife’s now a billionaire too. Call him up.
CHIEF SUCK-UP ADVISOR: I’ll get him on the line for you.
DONALD: Nah, you tell him. I don’t like speaking directly to these people, if I can help it.
SMARTER ADVISOR: Uh, just sayin’, but Kanye comes out with some crazy stuff – he’d take some of your votes too, the crazies.
DONALD: Such a nasty, nasty, extreme left fascist comment. You’re fired!
Five minutes later…
CHIEF SUCK-UP ADVISOR: Oh wise presidential supervillain, I mean superbeing, uh, Mr. T.
DONALD: What now?
CHIEF SUCK-UP ADVISOR: Kanye says he’ll do it!
DONALD: Why wouldn’t he? I’m the greatest builder – we’ll build the greatest plan in the history of great plans. Tell him, I’ll be on his next rap tour. Big crowds. His fans ready to vote for him, then big surprise at the concerts, me! They’ll love it. My genius plan. Kanye will tell them all to vote for me, not him!... And by the way, these concerts, he’ll be responsible for any virus spread. I’ve had it with that virus stuff, I’m a businessman.
CHIEF SUCK-UP ADVISOR: Uh, what’s in it for Kanye?
DONALD: No problem, I’m the best at deals. Kanye will be my VP runnin’ mate, my inside guy.
CHIEF SUCK-UP ADVISOR: But what about Mr. Pence?
DONALD: Don’t worry about Mikey. His ‘use by’ date is up… I gave him the COVID virus stuff to handle – wasn’t he a disaster!... And what a creepy guy, waiting in the wings – time he flies away. And I’ll ditch Kanye before my January inauguration. Hmm… need some dirt… get me Giuliani.